The Ninja with the Blonde Mohawk
by LadyEpic101
Summary: The Avengers face yet another alien threat that even Loki- stripped of his powers- is forced to assist them on. SHIELD decides to call in a ninja and self proclaimed 'agent of chaos.' Will being her chaotic, mayhem- loving self put the team into massive danger? Will she finally listen to authority and follow the plan? Why am I asking you these questions? May evolve into Loki/OC
1. Chapter 1

Six dozen or so SHIELD soldiers crouched in various places about the modest cabin. It was a cold winter's eve in Canada, and the gentle breeze did little to ease their stress. All was quiet. Too quiet. The Black Widow slowly made her way to the door. Sweat rolled down her neck despite the chilly atmosphere. Sure, she was a master assassin, but _this _woman... she was a different story altogether.

Natasha raised one shaking hand to knock on the door. Her ginger hair swirled about her cheeks as she looked back at Agent Barton and Commander Fury once more. Then, she gently tapped on the door. Nothing. The wind picked up for a moment, but there was no response, none of the chaos that they had prepared for. The sniper resting his gun against the snow bank sighed before a throwing star embedded itself in his temple. He slumped over and his gun would have fallen over him, if not for the rag-clad hand that swiftly caught its barrel. Blue eyes scanned the gun, sparkling with savage glee when they rested upon the high-quality silencer. With practiced skill, the petite figure aimed at a cluster of soldiers not four feet away. Three fell in succession. The fourth was smart enough to pull out his radio and begin to call for help before a bullet pierced his eye socket. It was too late. The alarm had been raised. Agent Barton loosed an arrow at a fleeting movement in the tree. A squirrel fell to the earth, the shaft of an arrow protruding from its chest. He wasn't called Hawkeye for nothing. "Aim to incapacitate, not to kill!" Fury couldn't count the number of times he's said that.

Laughter pealed out into the night sky. It was deranged and ecstatic. Many soldiers lost their cool and began firing into the trees. Many were felled by throwing stars or their comrades' bullets. Soon, three dozen man lay dead in a haphazard circle. A single, hooded figure stood in the center. They wore skins and seemingly random bits of cloth, but everything had its place. Drawing himself to his full height, Colonel Fury strode toward the person he had been searching for, doing his best to ignore the crimson snow.

"You, the infamous and always beautiful Black Widow, Hawkeye, and seventy-two men. Exactly what my conditions were. I assume that you are in need of assistance, yes?" They said, their lilting voice dancing through the dark woods.

"Minerva Merritt, SHIELD requires your help once again."

* * *

_(Earlier That Day)_

"So, we're facing another alien threat, one that even Reindeer Games is with us on, and you want to bring in a ninja? I don't see how this could go wrong at all," Tony Stark stated in his usual, sarcastic tone. He passed the manilla envelope to Bruce Banner, who sat to his right. Loki narrowed his eyes at Stark's nickname. He wanted to blast him with mystic fire for that, but he had been stripped of the majority of his powers after the... _incident_.

"So this woman, this, ah, Minerva, she's really a ninja?" Dr. Banner queried nervously. It wasn't that the ninja part bothered him, he always sounded nervous. "A ninja and a self-proclaimed 'Agent of Chaos'. She causes mayhem when and wherever she can. She's uncontrollable, but she's a tactical genius," Natasha proclaimed. Loki's eyebrows raised slightly at the latter part, but he quickly brushed it off. Midgardians are always exaggerating things. Perhaps that is why Thor was so fond of them, a shared trait.

"If she's so unpredictable, is it really wise to bring her on the team, sir?" Steve was the most concerned of all. He had recently watched 'Revenge of the Ninja' with Tony and Thor, not the greatest movie to introduce him to modern films.  
"In the past, she agreed to help SHIELD as long as we met her terms. " Fury had prepared extensively to convince the Avengers that Minerva was necessary

"If you do not mind my asking, what exactly were these 'terms'?" Loki grinned mischievously.

* * *

_(The Next Day)_

Everyone, excluding Clint, Natasha, and Fury were sitting in the main deck of the helicarrier, eagerly awaiting the arrival of the 'ninja'. Even Loki seemed curious, though he tried not to show it by appearing as bored as he possibly could. Thor, meanwhile, drummed his fingers on the table. Tony paced back and forth in front of the table, furiously eating blueberries. A door hissed open. Fury walked through first, followed by Natasha, Clint, then Minerva. She wore a white, long sleeved turtleneck and light blue jeans. Her blonde hair was styled into an odd, curly mohawk. Her pale lips parted into a grin when she saw how anxious she had made everyone. Tony was the most blatantly obvious about checking her out, but Steve just blushed and looked away.

Minerva hopped into the only free seat, seeing as Clint and Natasha had conveniently taken their seats next to each other. The free seat happened to be next to Loki. She twirled her gray fedora on her right hand while resting her pointed chin on her right. Loki glared at her, but was otherwise silent. Fury saw this as his chance to debrief the team on their current situation.

"Three nights ago a man was murdered in his apartment in Los Angeles. He was lying on his back, paralyzed and clutching a tuft of grey fur. The only wounds found on his body were three claw marks on his right arm, and several wounds consistent with a struggle. Twenty similar deaths have occurred in the past forty eight hours. It is not known -" "Mngwa."

"Pardon?" Fury was a bit irritated that he had been interrupted, but Minerva continued.

"The Mngwa. 'Strange One' in Swahili. They are a race of cat men, with venemous claws and are said to steal the souls of their victims after stalking them for eight hours,"

"Are you positive?" Clint was skeptical.

"Yes. Their victims are unfailingly found with fur clutched in their hands. They were last seen in 1954 in Tanzania. I've got no idea why or how they made their way to California, though," Minerva was unnervingly calm and confident in her explanation. She looked at the Avengers to see if they'd have any idea. Thor gently nudged his brother's arm. Irked, Loki sighed. "During my time with the Chitauri, I learned that there were other beings with their eyes turned towards Earth. I believe that one of these races may be beginning an invasion,"

"Well, that just leaves the question of why, doesn't it? Fury, we're three days out from California, correct?" Minerva seemed pleased with herself.

"Correct, Miss Merritt,"

"What do you have planned for me? You know the trouble I can get into when I'm left with idle time,"

"You will be watching Loki, the man sitting next to you, and making sure that he does not cause trouble."

Two mischievous grins lit the room.

"Really?"

* * *

AN: You like? I'm taking massive liberties with the Mngwa myhtos.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Mngwa is pronounced (MEEN-gwa) _'italic text within apostrophes is a translation, assume that Minerva is translating to Loki'_

* * *

"Loki~"

"..."

"Lookii~"

"..."

"LOOOOKIIIII!~"

"WHAT?!"

"Hi," Minerva scampered away from the irate demigod. After the Avengers had returned to doing whatever it was that they do, Loki had meandered his way to an empty training room. He was sitting in the middle of the sparsely decorated room, meditating, when Minerva dropped silently from the ceiling. He chose to ignore her, but was beginning to regret it.

Huffing, Loki stood and faced his current annoyance. Minerva smiled sweetly at him as he towered over her. He closed the small space between them, hoping to intimidate her into stepping back. She stood her ground.

"Is there a reason you interrupted my meditation?" He growled.

"Is that what you were doing? Seems boring," Minerva mock-yawned.

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Yes, actually."

* * *

Agent Hill casually sipped her coffee, enjoying its earthy flavor. Setting her mug down, she reached for the canister of sour cream & onion Pringle's - her favorite. She tugged on the plastic lid. Strangely, it did not move. She pulled harder, furrowing her brows. With a sudden pop, the lid released its iron grip and chips flew all over the lounge and Agent Hill. Stunned and covered in crumbs, Maria searched for the woman she knew set her up. Muffled laughter came from the vent in the wall, followed by a shuffling sound. Oh, Fury was going to hear about this.

Meanwhile, Minerva shimmied her way back to the mastermind of the ordeal. Dropping through a vent in the ceiling again, Minerva glanced around. When she saw Loki lazing in a chair and smirking at her curiously, she burst out laughing.

"Oh God, you should've seen the look on her face!" Minerva approximated Agent Hill's puckered mouth and raised eyebrows between laughs. Loki allowed himself to chuckle. He watched his partner in crime literally roll on the floor with laughter. After at least five minutes, she lay spread-eagle on the floor, shaking with the odd giggle. Smiling to himself, Loki stood and walked to Minerva, offering his hand. She gladly took it and stood. He did not let go.

"We have to do that again sometime. Tony seems like a good victim," Minerva bubbled. She was so caught up in planning their next prank that she did not notice that he had not let go of her hand.

"Oh, but of course. Meanwhile, just imagine how many people will be at our mercy once we land," Loki said, emphasizing 'our'.

The blonde giggled, her eyes darkened with mischief. Loki kissed her hand then returned to the center of the room, sat down and closed his eyes.

Minerva cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brow, staring at the back of the demigod. Smiling abruptly, she strolled to his side and sat about a foot away from him. Closing her eyes and mimicking his posture, she settled into her own meditation. They stayed like that for thirty minutes before a scream commanded their attention. Both of their eyes flew open. "That sounded like Natasha! Come on, we have to help her!" Minerva was already on her feet and halfway to the door. She turned around to see Loki still on the floor, staring at her curiously with one eyebrow raised.

"Come with me and help Natasha or lose your powers for good," She yelled, a bit frustrated with the demigod's apathy towards her teammate's plight. Sighing, Loki joined her and they rushed through the halls, meeting Steve on the way. After what seemed like an eternity, they arrived at the Black Widow's room. The door was ripped open and a horrible scene unfolded in front of them.

A tall 'man' was wrestling with the Black Widow. He was covered in patchy grey fur and had a pointed face and short, flat muzzle. Steve tackled it and pinned it against a wall. Hissing, it raised a claw, intending to rip open the Captain, when a throwing knife pinned the arm to the wall. It still hissed and spit and struggled, until Loki placed two fingers on its forehead. The creature suddenly calmed down and passed out. "Sleeping spell," Loki answered the questioning glance and glare from Minerva and Steve, respectfully.

* * *

"So this is a, uh, a Mngwa?" Bruce asked as he reviewed the footage from Natasha's close call. Everyone seemed disturbed that a Mngwa had been able to get on the carrier. Clint had his arm wrapped around a visibly shaken Black Widow. Thor was standing in the corner, looking pensive. Steve, Tony, and Bruce were watching the footage and looking for any weak points they could use. Loki and Minerva were discussing something quietly.

"We have reason to believe that these creatures mean to strike again. So, here are the rules. One. Never be alone, Always have someone with you and be ready for a fight. Two. A squad of SHIELD soldiers will investigate any room you mean to enter for any period of time and your rooms before you go to sleep. Three. At least one soldier will be stationed outside your rooms while you sleep, and will enter at any sign of commotion. Are we clear?" Fury addressed the entire team. Everyone murmured an agreement. "Minerva, you speak Swahili, correct?" They stopped their conversation and looked at Fury.

" I'm a bit rusty, but yeah, I think I know enough for an interrogation,"

"Good. I need you and Loki to see what information you can get out of that thing. Anything at all," They nodded and excused themselves from the room, heading for the very same cage that had held Loki those few months ago.

* * *

"Minerva, I'm curious," began Loki, grinning as they made their way to the containment room, "How exactly did you first get on SHIELD's 'RADAR'," Loki hoped that he had used the term correctly. Fury had said it when addressing the Avengers more than once, and he had always been curious about its real meaning.

"Oh, you kill a couple hundred people and suddenly you're a 'dangerously unstable mass murderer'," Minerva emphasized the last part with air quotes.

"I look forward to hearing more, later," He replied. They'd arrived at the doors. A soldier pounded in a code and let them through, the doors closing with a rush of air behind them. Minerva dragged her eyes over the room before settling on the cylindrical glass cage. Loki meanwhile marveled at how perfectly they and replicated the one that he had tried to kill Thor in. A low growl drew their attention to the figure in the cage. The Mngwa was bound to a chair, with its hands down at its sides. Demigod and ninja approached.

"Unazungumza Kiswahili?" Minerva questioned. Loki looked down at her, waiting for a translation. "I asked if it spoke Swahili," She supplied.

"Ndio! Ninazungumza Kiswahili," It spat at them, flashing its canines. '_Yes! I speak Swahili.'_

"Ninatokea Japani. Wewe unatokea wapi?" _'I'm from Japan. Where are you from?' _

"Ninatokea Jahanamu," It grinned menacingly. _'I'm from Hell.'_

"Jahanamu. Does that mean anything to you, Loki?" Minerva was a bit shaken. Dealing with things from Hell had gotten her into trouble in the past. Even if the Mngwa was just trying to intimidate them, it still bothered her.

Loki knit his brows pensively, it did sound familiar. He recalled the Other mentioning something that sounded similar. He just couldn't remember why.

"It's simpler if this one just spoke Common, no? You want to know why the Mngwa are here? Why we kill your people?" The Mngwa queried, startling both Minerva and Loki. Looking satisfied with itself, it continued.

"I tell you this because you cannot stop us. No matter how hard you fight, we will prevail. Jahanamu is going to die. A, how do you say, 'dark hole' is going to eat Her. We come now to what you call 'Earth' and 'Midgard'"- it glanced at Minerva and Loki-" to make our home. These deaths? They are just the beginning. Soon, Dunia will belong to the Mngwa. You bare-skins will be gone. My people will have a safe home, if you join us now, perhaps I can convince my queen that you will have some worth as servants," it cackled at its own joke.

"Open the cage," Loki commanded. He stared impassively at the Mngwa. The soldiers that gaurded the Mngwa looked hesitant to accept orders from someone who was once public enemy number one. "I said, Open. The. Cage," Loki raised his arm slightly and his scepter materialized. He pointed the sharp end at the nearest soldier. Nervously, the young man punched in a sequence on the control pad. A heartbeat later, the door slid open. Loki walked inside.

"Close it,"

The soldier closed the door.

Minerva wanted to stop Loki from what he was about to do, but couldn't even bring herself to move. She could do nothing but watch as Loki stalked towards the clueless prisoner. It smirked at him arrogantly until Loki wrapped his hand around its neck and hoisted it above his head, chair and all. He allowed the beast to struggle before lowering to his level.

"Now listen to me, you pompous little house cat. I don't care that your planet is dying. I don't care that you've chosen to invade Midgard. I wouldn't care if you were the creator of the omniverse itself. No one calls me a servant. I am a god, and you are vermin. I may have considered striking an alliance with your 'Queen' once I regain my powers, but now, now I see that your people will be no more useful to me than a dulled arrow is to an archer. Your people will remember this day as the day they made an enemy of Loki Laufeysson. That is, if I decide to let them continue existing," Loki hissed. He dropped the Mngwa to the ground carelessly, smirking to himself a bit when it fell on its side. He turned on his heel and glanced coldly at the soldier standing next to the control panel. Taking the hint, the soldier let him out of the cage and out of the room.

Minerva could've sworn that the temperature in the room dropped ten degrees. She was glad that she wore a turtleneck today.

* * *

(Meanwhile)

The Avengers sat in stunned silence in the control room. Seeing the Mngwa reduced to a quivering shape on the floor helped Natasha calm down a bit. Thor, Tony, and Bruce were surprised that such a small insult had set Loki off like that. Sure, he was proud, but he would normally reply with a scathing remark, not attack. Steve sat back in his chair, thinking. How did someone like Loki go from wanting to enslave the Earth to threatening a possible ally in that goal? He had to have an ulterior motive, but what?

* * *

Author's note:**THE PLOT THICKENS**


	3. Chapter 3

"All piloting personnel to stations. Prepare to land," A feminine, automated voice rang through the airship. Minerva looked up from knitting. She was working on a simple scarf that was turning out lopsided and ugly. Sighing, she returned to her work. It had been a few days since the interrogation. The Mngwa hadn't spoken much, only asking for food, water, or to go to the bathroom. Loki spent almost all of his time meditating in the training room or sulking in his room.

"Speaking of Loki..." Minerva left off of her knitting and climbed on top of the sofa; she used her needles to remove the grating from the rather large and spacious vent. It was almost like they wanted her to sneak around the carrier. Quietly, the woman squeezed her way into the duct and began crawling towards Loki's room. She silently hoped that the guards wouldn't knock on her door to ask if she needed anything. 'Right, Right, Down, Left, Left, Loki's room.' Minerva thought absently. Looking down, she was a bit surprised to see that Loki wasn't in his room. He usually moped in there when an announcement was made. Guess he didn't like commotion.

A low growl prompted her to pull the grating out. They were much easier to remove from the inside. She dropped out of the vent and onto his bed, bouncing slightly. She scanned the room in front of her. Nothing was out-of-place. She was about to slide off the bed when a hand clamped over her mouth and pushed her down on her back. Her wrists were pinned above her head by one, cold hand. She struggled for a moment before looking up to the face of her attacker.

It was Loki. He was grinning his familiar mischievous grin. Minerva glared and he took the hand off her mouth, only to grab one of her wrists so that each of his hands held down one of hers. "I thought one of them had gotten you," Loki only smiled at her tone of voice. He had made her angry, and he loved it.

"What makes you think that one of them could defeat me?" He chuckled.

"Well, I heard a growl..."

"Something like this?" Loki cleared his throat, then growled. It was the same sound from before. 'That was... that was hot.' Minerva couldn't stop the thought from drifting through her mind. She blushed and hoped that he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately for her, Loki was a very perceptive person. He smirked, even more mischief pushing its way to the surface. Minerva didn't think it was possible to look as absolutely devious as he did in that moment. He shifted his legs so that he was straddling her hips. She noticed that he wasn't wearing his armor or cloak. He lowered his head so that their noses were almost touching.

"Something wrong?" He teased.

_**KNOCK KNOCK.**_ "Hey Reindeer Games, you decent?" Tony's voice was muffled by the door. Loki sighed and let go of Minerva's hands, sitting back on his heels.

"Yes,"

"Can I come in?"

"No,"

Loki rolled his eyes and looked down at Minerva. The door slid open, revealing a very surprised Stark. "Well, Fury wanted you two on the poop deck, but I'll just tell him you're busy," Tony pressed a button, and the door slid closed.

Loki looked down at Minerva with a tight lipped smile. They were silent for a moment before she cracked. The same laugh that had echoed around the training room but a few days ago filled Loki's room and made him finally let himself truly laugh. He rolled off of her and onto his back, where they lay laughing for several minutes.

Finally, they quieted down and decided to grace the rest of the Avengers with their presence. Loki donned the softer parts of his armor and offered Minerva his arm. They walked down the hallways in a relaxed silence, startling some of the guards with their silent movements.

The Avengers were yelling at one another when they arrived at the control room. Minerva looked up at Loki, whose face was set in rare confusion. This continued for a few minutes, until Loki was tired of being ignored. As his staff materialized, a small grin wormed its way to his lips.

**BANG!**"Enough!" Loki commanded, ramming the butt of his spear on the ground. A wave pulsed outwards from him, knocking Minerva slightly off balance and causing some of the screens to flicker.

"Stop behaving like children. I thought that 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes' were better than petty arguments," Loki's words practically dripped with venom.

"Loki's right. Anyway, I called you all here to tell you that we're landing a couple dozen miles from shore. Choppers will be flying you inland tonight, where you'll be meeting with a strike team. Once there, you'll be briefed on your mission. Oh, and you'll probably want to suit up before you get there. Any questions?" Fury addressed his team. No one had a question.

"Good. I suggest you get some rest, the choppers leave at 2100 hours," Fury turned back to the control floor and started calling out orders.

'Wait, it's only two, so that means...' A devilish grin broke out on Minerva's face, then disappeared. She just remembered all the preparation she had to go through before a mission. Groaning, she made her way back to her room.

* * *

( One hour later)

Minerva sighed happily, rocking back to sit on her heels. All that she might need was laid out on the floor in front of her; her coffee table was pushed against the wall to make room. She had finished checking her armor and repairing it to 'battle ready' condition. The armor itself wasn't too complex, -very similar to what BMX bikers would use to protect themselves- but it was actual armor, unlike Nat's or Cap's. Oh, how many times it had saved her life. 'But at what cost?' She scowled, remembering what she had to go through to get it. Huffing, she began to angrily sharpen her weapons.

"Problem?"

Minerva whirled around and pressed a combat knife against the throat of her opponent, who was leaning over her. There was Loki, once again, with a smug smirk on his face.

"I could have killed you!" Minerva shouted. She was surprised at how angry she was at him. He however, was not.

"No, you couldn't have," Loki straightened, still smirking. "Need some help?" Loki waved a hand. The edges of Minerva's various weapons glowed white-hot before returning to their original colors. Experimentally, Minerva pulled a hair and dropped it on the edge of her favorite throwing star. It split neatly in half. A breathless 'Wow' escaped her lips.

"Impressed?" Loki couldn't help but chuckle, watching her every move as the falcon watches the rabbit, hopping along innocently, unaware of the imminent danger, until talons pierce her flesh. The demigod was glad that he had removed his armor before coming to her room, it would get in the way of his experiment.

Unaware of the thoughts taking shape in the trickster's head, Minerva continued packing away her weapons. She stood after the last blade was in its place, and began to speak.

"So, now that that's done, wanna prank To - GAAH!" She was cut off by a tackle. She fell on her bed, with Loki hovering over her.

"You let your guard down around me," It was a simple observation. He said it in a completely neutral voice, even and calm. That didn't make her feel any better about it.

She was getting soft. Was it because of Loki, or was it because she hadn't been contracted in so long? Her thoughts were cut short when she noticed Loki lowering his head towards hers. She could feel his cold breath on her lips. They were inches away, centimeters, millimeters, a hair's breadth...

Loki quickly pulled back and sat on his heels, and, because of their position, Minerva's thighs.

"Anyway, I think Stark's about to coat his suit with a final layer of paint. Shall we cause a little, 'accident'? Perhaps the colors could 'accidentally' switched? Or maybe the mechanism could 'backfire' and coat Stark instead?" With that, Loki hopped off Minerva's bed and began to exit the room.

"Coming?"

"Ye- yeah," Minerva was still a bit confused. Did he actually want her, or was he just teasing her? God, he was like a schoolgirl.

"Straighten up a bit. You look positively ravished."

* * *

AN: Loki's a conniving bitch.


	4. Chapter 4

Gore Warning.

* * *

Minerva had been a little apprehensive about taking the chopper Loki and a half dozen soldiers. She almost didn't trust her ability to stop him if he decided to act up. That was her job, wasn't it? Just in case, she put on her best poker face and tried to concentrate on her knitting.

"Minerva?" He whispered her name.

"Yes?" She stopped moving her needles.

"You missed a stitch," He smiled at her.

"Hmph, so I did," Minerva unwound the yarn and fixed her mistake. Loki furrowed his brows, then his face lit in realization. He looked down at his hands and pretended to skulk. He listened for tell-tale pause in the clacking needles. When he knew that she was watching, he looked up to her, his eyes were wide, sad, and vulnerable. He looked back to his hands, pretending to have been caught stealing a glance at her. He could hear her sigh sourly. Loki considered trying a new tactic once they landed. He leaned back in his seat, trailing his eyes over Minerva as he thought of the best approach.

'Oh,' He thought, 'That'll do nicely...'

* * *

Minerva stood rigidly in a line with the other Avengers and Loki. They were all facing the entrance to an old, previously abandoned mining shaft in the middle of a dense mountain forest. Fifty soldiers garbed in black aimed their weapons at the small entrance. The tunnel was only wide enough to walk two abreast.

You could cut the tension with a knife. For a single moment, time slowed. Captain America raised his shield Bruce nervously rung his hands. Tony began to lift his arms and activate the repulsors in his hands. Hawkeye drew back his bow and Black Widow lifted her glock to eye level. Thor readied Mjolnir. Loki glanced at Minerva, who readied her Kusari- Gama. The Kusari- Gama was her specialty, a scythe connected to a weight with a retractable chain. Smiling wryly, Loki lifted his spear and his battle armor began to form.

Hundreds of lithe, gray shapes raced out of the mine, crawling on the ceiling and running on all fours. Black Widow fired off her gun first, followed quickly by the soldiers. Bruce hulked out and began smashing Mngwa left and right alongside Thor. Tony flew into the air and rained hell upon the invaders. Captain threw his shield and took down ten. Loki stabbed one that had foolishly charged him. He looked to wear Minerva had been standing.

She was gone.

A small wave of panic crashed over him before he looked towards the source of an inhuman cry.

He smiled.

Minerva stabbed a small female Mngwa through its stomach, ripping out the scythe just in time to turn and bash a massive male in the head with the weight. She jumped onto its back and flipped off, dropping another with her elbow as she fell to the ground. She rolled out of reach of another cat, only to turn and toss a knife into its eye. She took advantage of the distraction to pull out an odd, curving blade. With a push of a button, the handle of the blade extended five feet into a naginata. Minerva spun and stood, letting momentum carry the naginata out until she could grip the end. She slashed through three attackers and spun the naginata over her head; she continued the motion and slashed behind her, eviscerating a rather sneaky opponent.

Suddenly, Minerva was pitched forward by a massive shock wave. She collided with someone and they tumbled down an incline together, landing in the soft undergrowth. Groaning, Minerva looked up to the unknown person, only half surprised that Loki was smirking down at her.

"You know, Minerva, you have got to stop letting yourself get caught in this position. People might start talking," he teased.

"Loki, now is not the time," Minerva replied, trying and failing to get Loki off of her so that she could stand up.

"Oh, on the contrary, now is the perfect time," Loki leaned down and kissed Minerva quickly before standing, turning, and trekking back towards the sound of fighting.

Minerva sat up and looked to her left, to her right, then after Loki.

"What?"

Then she felt a pain in the back of her head, then darkness.

* * *

Minerva slowly opened her eyes, feeling terrible.

"Urrgh, I haven't felt like this since Vegas... Ow my head..." She tried to sit up, only to find that she was tied to a crucifix, hanging upside down.

_How the fuck did I not realize that? _She looked around, trying to interpret her inverted vision. She saw four pair of furry, paw like feet approach her, one of which then kicked her in the side of the head. A skinny Mngwa crouched down to look her in the eye.

"Come, it is time you met the Queen," It hissed. Two burly guards grabbed the piece where her arms were tied to and another grabbed near her feet. They carried her through several dark tunnels, making at least a dozen turns. Finally, they came to a ridiculously large room. The walls glistened with moonlight let in by a massive opening in the ceiling. Minerva tore her gaze from the walls and nearly vomited when she saw what lay in the center of the room.

It was a hulking mass of quivering gray flesh, covered in boils ranging from mouse to man sized. One of the boils started moving, then burst open. A wet, dark form fell out and onto the floor. It stood shivering before a fellow Mngwa rushed to its side and led it out of the room. A thick, brown liquid seeped out of the open wound on the disgusting being. Suddenly, the thing shifted, revealing seven deformed limbs that ended in randomly placed, gnarled digits. The beast groaned before rolling forward, pulling itself towards Minerva with its contorted limbs. The ninja desperately began to struggle, not wanting to be anywhere near this monstrosity. As this atrocity neared its prey, several folds and layers of skin began to pull away from its front, resembling something like a macabre flower. From the center of this flower came what appeared to be a skull draped in black, decaying flesh with a tangle of gray hair atop its head.

Minerva screamed, hoping that someone, anyone would hear her. "Oh God, SOMEONE HEL- oh right, pepper bombs," Minerva ripped her hand out of the twine that bound her wrist to the wood, tearing off skin in the process. She reached into her armor, grabbing the round device she always kept between her boobs because, you know, just in case. She tossed the little black device at the offending beast; it shattered on contact. The beast tried to scrape at its 'face' with its warped limbs, howling in agony from the burning capsaicin. Minerva pulled a knife out of her side pocket, ready to attack the guards holding the cross, but much to her surprise, they were gone. Instead, clones of Loki held the cross and grinned mischeviously at her. "Miss me?" a voice whispered in her ear as the bindings on her legs and other wrist fell off.

"Not a bit," She replied, dropping onto the floor and dashing towards the still wailing beast. Loki was a bit taken aback by her words, but brushed it off as the heat of battle.

The 'Queen' writhed about, smashing and dragging its face along the floor in an attempt to sooth its pain. Minerva slowed as she walked up to this pitiful, putrid, pus-filled monster, picking up a sharp, heavy rock on her way.

"Hey, shit stain,"

It looked up at Minerva with its visceral visage.

"Fuck you!" Minerva rammed the stone into the 'Queen's' forehead. Its jaw dropped before its entire body began to collapse on itself, shooting out fountains of pus, blood, and rotten flesh. Suddenly, the carcass stopped collapsing and started to expand. Loki grabbed Minerva and dragged her out into the hallway, running to get behind the first bend in the tunnel. They managed to make it just in time, the very next second, the Queen exploded in a gory shower of internal organs and fetuses. Minerva buried her head in Loki's chest, trying to escape the fetid stench. Loki nearly gagged, deciding that they should get as far away from there as fast as possible.

* * *

NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL ZEEEEEE-I MEAN NINJA WITH THE BLONDE MOHAWK

(Three days later, Stark Tower)

"Looookiii~~"

"Yes, Minerva?"

"I think you could have been a bit more tactful about demanding a room next to mine," Minerva giggled as she sprawled out on the couch in her room. Loki reclined on her bed, hands resting behind his head.

"How so?"

"Well forcibly evicting Bruce probably wasn't the subtlest hint. You're lucky he still feels bad for wrecking Tony's floor. By the way, how did that happen again?"

Loki chuckled. He propped himself up on his elbows and gazed out the rather large window overlooking the city.

"It is almost time for the Winter Solstice, no?" He mused, changing the subject.

Minerva bolted upright and gasped. Loki furrowed his brows and looked at her.

"What?" He queried.

She ran to her door and flung it open.

"IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSS!" She yelled and bolted down the hall. Loki rose and walked to the doorway, bracing his hands on it and looking out.

"You've got no idea what you've started," Tony said, walking the same direction Minerva went and leaving a very, very confused frost giant.


	5. Christmas Special

Loki, Clint, and Tony sat in the living room of Stark Tower, watching some mindless midgardian sport on Tony's massive plasma screen. Tony and Clint would stand up and shout nonsense at the players once in a while; Loki rubbed his temples, a headache already forming. He wore a black, long sleeved shirt and jeans. The light patter of feet alerted him to a new presence. He looked over his shoulder at Minerva, whose hair now hung over one side to her shoulder. The demigod smiled, remembering what she had called an "Early Christmas present." It was a simple spell, he could have done it in his sleep. Odin had underestimated his adopted son's abilities.

"Loki, could you come with me for a minute?" Minerva called out as she moonwalked back out of the room. He shook his head, he would never get used to this woman's antics. She led him to her room, which he considered his room. Loki flopped down on the bed, stretching out. Minerva joined him, bending her legs at the knee and kicking her feet gently through the air.

"I assume you had a question?" Loki asked.

"What does one get a demigod for Christmas?"

He raised his eyebrows at how innocently she had presented the question, but a mischevious smirk soon wormed its way onto his face.

"Do you really want ti know what one gets a demigod for Christmas?" His tone was seductive as he propped himself up on his elbows.

Minerva was wary, but now she had to know.

"Ye-nn-Maybeee- Yes. Yes I want to know,"

Loki leaned over to her, so that his mouth was right next to her ear. He began to whisper to her. Minerva raised her eyebrows, her mouth made a small 'o' shape. Her cheeks burned. They went on like this for five minutes before Loki laid back onto her bed.

"That, is what you get a demigod for Christmas," He grinned at her, a hungry look in his eyes.

"I... need an... adult?" Minerva stammered, still shocked at what he had said to her.

"I am an adult,"

Minerva decided that this would be a good time for a cold shower. When Loki asked if she wanted him to join her, she made sure to lock the bathroom door behind her.

* * *

'Twas Christmas Eve, and Minerva sat in her room, drinking hot cocoa alone. It was rare that she was alone in her room, usually Loki was bothering her. But today, she felt as though every time she thought to look for him, something convinced her otherwise.

She was quite surprised when he knocked on her door, with a triumphant grin on his lips. He walked in, holding something and trying to keep it out of sight. Minerva was about to ask what he had when he shushed her.

"I am aware that it is Midgardian custom to give gifts tomorrow, but this is not for everyone to see," He dropped the wrapped package on her bed and left, just as quickly as he had arrived.

As soon as Minerva was sure he was gone, she pounced on the present, ripping the gold wrapping paper off. She gasped and blushed once she saw what the 'present' was: black and green, thin, lacy lingerie. Words cannot describe how incredibly horrified and strangely aroused Minerva was when she realized that it was _exactly her size._

"That cheeky bastard."

* * *

"LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI WAKE UP!" Minerva shouted as she banged on his door. When it finally opened, she was greeted with the sight of a shirtless demigod with bedhead.

"Yes?" He drawled, voice throaty from sleep.

"Presents,"

"Minerva, it is 5 o'clock in the morning,"

"PRESENTS,"

"Oh," Loki smirked, "I have a present for you if you don't want to sleep for the next three hours,"

"... I'll just go back to bed then,"

"You do that."

* * *

It was now a godly hour to be awake, and Minerva bolted out of her room, sliding out of the hallway and into the living room. Everyone was up and moving about, though none were very energetic.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" Minerva shouted excitedly, wearing her Ninja Turtle Pajamas. Loki looked at her from his place on the couch, the only other person ready to start the day. Minerva skipped towards the Christmas tree, stopping when the _still shirtless _demigod cleared his throat. She looked at him and cocked her head. Loki patted his thigh for Minerva to sit. She stood there for a second, feeling and looking conflicted. Loki decided that he was getting impatient and stood, grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap.

"No rape on the couch," Tony muttered, sipping his coffee.

"Oh, but of course. I plan on taking Minerva back to my room for that," Loki shot back over his shoulder.

Tony choked on his coffee. Bruce paused in eating his bagel, then shook his head and continued. Clint started snickering, only to be punched in the arm by Natasha. Steve cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable. Thor was too absorbed in his poptarts to care. Minerva suddenly felt incredibly stifled and tried to squirm free; Loki was having none of that and pulled her back onto his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

_Oh God why?_ Minerva felt violated. All she wanted to do was open presents. Now she was being held prisoner by a lustful God of Lies.

This was shaping up to be a wonderful Christmas.

After the shock of that little incident wore off, everyone shuffled to the couch. Bruce took it upon himself to pass out the presents. One for everybody. Tony insisted that they all wait to open their presents until everyone has theirs.

When Bruce finally sat down, everyone tore into their gifts excitedly. Each person had a box. Inside that box, they discovered, was a NERF gun.

Fully pieced together, fully loaded, and with extra ammo.

Glances were exchanged around the room. Minerva began to pull hers out of the box. Quickly, she aimed and fired at Tony.

All hell broke loose.

Tony and Bruce ducked behind the Christmas tree, the former barely dodging the foam bullet aimed at his forehead. Minerva flipped over Loki and behind the couch. Loki soon joined her. Clint and Natasha found cover behind the arm of the same couch, crouching down and planning for their attack.

This left Steve and Thor to circle each other, NERF guns drawn. Loki stood from his hiding place and fired twice at Thor. Steve took advantage of this distraction to fire at the God of Thunder as well. He was hit, and went down, feigning a fatal injury.

Minerva crept quietly around the couch to where she could see Natasha's knee sticking out. Once she was in range. She stood and fired at the red-haired spy, several rounds making contact. Natasha was down for the count.

"Nat, Nooooo!" Clint yelled dramatically as his partner sprawled on the floor. He stood to return fire, but was shot down by the combined efforts of Bruce and Tony. Minerva scrambled back to Loki, who was in the midst of a firefight with the Captain. He ducked down and turned to the ninja, using hand signals to indicate that she go back around and ambush Steve.

Steve popped up once more to shoot his opponent, only to feel the cold plastic barrel of justice at his back. He turned to look back at Minerva.

"I always knew that it's be you," He uttered his last words before falling, a bright yellow dart stuck to his white tank top.

Bruce was felled by a stray shot from Loki, who was attempting to hit Tony. As the latter turned to look at his fallen comrade, a dart found his neck, and he joined his friend in defeat.

Now, there was only two. Minerva and Loki circled each other, gripping their weapons tightly. She pulled the trigger.

_Click. _Nothing. She was out of bullets. The blonde stared helplessly at the raven-haired man, desperately hoping that he would not shoot her.

"I am sorry, my dear, but this is the end," Loki began to tighten his finger around the trigger.

There was the light sound of rubber hitting skin, and Loki looked down. A bright yellow dart was centered exactly where his heart was.

"That's for Bruce!" Tony whispered, before dropping his gun and lying still.

Loki dropped to his knees and looked up at Minerva, then fell fully.

"I won... Fuckin' knew it."

* * *

AN: Merry Late Christmas Motherfuckers.


	6. Late Valentines Special

Minerva and Loki have sex.

* * *

**AN: HAPPY LATE VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!**

**_(joke chapter)_**


	7. Chapter 6

_(Somewhere deep in your mother- I mean space. Space. On a ship in space.)_

"My Lord, it seems that the first wave, erm, did not succeed," a balding, scrawny Mngwa bowed low to the ground.

"What do you mean _'did not succeed' _?" Boomed a massive, hideous beast. He possessed the face of a man, though his mouth was filled with thousands upon thousands of needle-like teeth. His body and limbs resembled a lion. Lashing about behind him was an enormous metal scorpion tail with a morning star in place of a barb.

"Uh, well, Your Highness, the Queen, was... killed,"

The beast tossed his head back in a long, mournful wail. He stomped his paws and bashed his tail into the walls. Suddenly, his keen turned into a vicious roar.

"**WHAT FOOL DARED TO MURDER MY MATE!? I AM THE LORD OF THE BEFORE TIME; WHAT MORTAL WOULD DARE DEFY ME?!"**

"Well, My King, it's funny you should ask..."

* * *

_(Back on Earth/ Midgard)_

"But Minerva I said I was sorry!"

"But you're smiling!"

"But _it's so funny."_

"But my hair!"

"I'm really, really sorry."

"I really, really don't care."

"Minerva,"

"Goddamnit don't whine at me like tha- Hey don't make that face at me you know I..."

Loki peered sidelong at Minerva, his face downcast and eyes forlorn. She was about to turn away, then he raised his right eyebrow.

"Oh Goddamnit Loki," Minerva deflated, looking at the ground. Loki used his superior height to draw her to his chest, resting his chin on top of her horrendously bright orange hair. Sighing, she leaned her head against his chest. They stayed there for a moment, until Loki pulled way, bringing a lock of hair to Minerva's eyes. It had returned to its usual blonde color.

"Do you want to go out tonight? I just might happen to have made rather convenient reservations at your favorite restaurant," Loki asked.

"... Okay, I forgive you. Wait a minute, how'd'you know my favorite restaurant?" Minerva asked skeptically.

"Wait!" She interrupted, " A true magician never reveals his secrets,"

" A true _god._" He corrected.

"Oh shut up and kiss me."

He happily obliged

* * *

"What are you all dressed up for?" Natasha said, entering Minerva's room.

"Oh, I may or may not have a hot date, why?" Minerva directed at the older woman's reflection. The ninja was currently trying on different dresses in her mirror. Last week she had won a bet with Tony that she could get Loki to purr like a kitten. Minerva would prefer not to say how that was achieved. Anyhow, now she had won a cool ten thousand dollars, and had finally found a use for it.

"Because it's not often that miss 'But I like my mohawk!' asks me to style her hair," Nat ran a hand through the other woman's long blonde hair.

"Well, you've somehow managed to look like a supermodel after kicking bad guy ass, so I figured that you could help a sista' out,"

"I'll do it if you promise never to say the word 'sista'' again,"

"Deal."

* * *

Loki sat cross-legged on his bed, eyes closed, mouth in a relaxed smirk. He was wearing a dark green pair of sweats, and not much else. Suddenly he chuckled, breaking the silence in his room. In his mind's eye he could see Minerva and the Spy arguing over what type of cosmetics would make the former's eyes most beautiful. Personally, he preferred the gold color sitting neglected on the vanity. He saw Minerva shake her head and blink. Suddenly, she reached for the forgotten palette and showed it to the spy, who consented.

Loki opened his eyes, breaking the spell. His brows scrunched down in concern for a moment; his emerald eyes were almost worried, until a sort of mad glee lit them up. Suddenly he smiled broadly and tossed his head back, laughing. He clapped his hands once, then laid back. He rested his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. He began to drift off for a short nap, mentally setting a timer. He fell asleep wondering about one thing...

Was Minerva going to wear her Christmas gift tonight?

* * *

"Why're you all dressed up?" Tony whistled at Minerva. Her normally messy hair was set in controlled curls, and she was wearing a deep green one-shouldered evening dress with a loose ruffle off to the side.

"You like?" Minerva twirled around herself, causing the light material to fan out.

"Depends, why're you wearing that?"

"Guess,"

"Hmm..." Tony pondered for a moment. "Well, I'd have to say that Loki's taking you out to that fancy Italian place, 'Cadenza', I think,"

"How did you-"

"He had me program JARVIS to follow you on twitter. Got some Asgardian tech. out of it. Have fun, and practice safe sex." Tony turned back to the TV and changed the channel to a football game.

Minerva rode down the elevator, wondering what Loki would be wearing tonight. First, she drooled over the thought of him in a fancy tux. Then, she drooled over the thought of him in nothing at all.

'**DING**' She was at the bottom floor of Stark Tower. Doing one last check of her reflection in the metal doors, she fluffed up her ego and waltzed out of the elevator, listening to the hiss of the doors behind her.

Loki was leaning against a pillar in the lobby. He was staring off into space so that only his sharp, handsome profile was visible to her.

"Damn." Minerva muttered to herself before starting towards Loki. He was dressed in attire that was both elegant and regal at the same time. He wore a black suit coat over a black vest and white button up shirt. A thin tie was framed by a wonderfully gold and green dress pants adorned his long legs. He turned toward Minerva and smiled, pushing himself off of the pillar.

"My, my, what a lovely gown," he offered his arm and Minerva took it. He leaned close to her ear so that only she could hear him.

"_It's almost a s__hame I'm going to rip it off of you later_ ," Loki chuckled darkly as he pulled away. Minerva fought to reply, but found her mouth dry and her tongue suddenly feeling thick and heavy.

Loki gloated silently in his victory as he led her out to their awaiting limo. Yet another thing he had 'traded' with Stark for strictly Asgardian knowledge. He ushered his date into the spacious cabin. The engine purred to life once they were both inside and began to travel smoothly towards their destination. After a few moments of silence, Loki hooked a finger into the front of Minerva's dress and pulled it forward, peering down.

"Pardon me, but what the fuck are you doing?" Minerva made an angry expression.

"I was just checking to see if you were wearing your Christmas gift," He defended.

"You know, some might consider that sexual harassment,"

"My dear Minerva," Loki leaned closer to her, "What makes you think that I care?"

Minerva huffed a bit and turned away, pushing Loki away and crossing her arms over her chest. Not one to be easily deterred, Loki leaned closer to her and began to whisper to her, occasionally nipping at her ear. Minerva's face was burning after the first two sentences. It was another ten minutes of this torture before they finally arrived at Cadenza. A crowd of people were bustling around outside. If the signs were anything to judge by, one of the most popular boy bands in the country, Both Directions, was having their evening meal.

"Ugh, preteens," Minerva sighed as Loki helped her out of limousine. As the couple waltzed down the still laid-out red carpet, many of the rabid tweens turned and gawked. Some whispered to each other, wodering which celebrity couple this was. Maybe they were foreign? Maybe they were the stars of the oft spoken about but never before seen new movie, 'Sunset.'

"It seems we've attracted some unwanted attention to ourselves," Loki smiled at the crowd, causing one girl to faint.

"_We? _What's this 'we' business Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome?" Minerva wrapped her arm possesively around his waist. Loki laughed aloud, and Minerva swore that she could hear panties hit the ground.


	8. Chapter 7

"So, Minerva, tell me," Loki poured his date a glass of champagne, " What exactly were you doing before SHIELD hired you as my escort?"

"More like babysitter," Minerva began, earning a playful glare from the demigod, "But I was mostly a contract killer, I worked for the highest bidder. My last little escapade made me some enemies out of people you would not want to make enemies out of," She took a small sip.

Loki grinned and leaned his elbows on the table; he rested his chin on his laced fingers.

"Enlighten me," he encouraged.

* * *

"Merritt!" A grizzled mercenary in his early fifties shouted.

"Sir!" A brunette Minerva saluted.

"Where is the rest of your squadron? If you took it upon yourself to give them a break," He turned his back to the smaller, younger woman.

_And that was his first, and last mistake._

"GLarglglargle!"

_"Glarglglargle?"  
"Shut up I'm telling a story"_

He went down, blood bubbling out of his mouth. Minerva withdrew her small knife from his back and hoisted the dead weight over her shoulder, carrying him behind a stack of crates that held god-knows-what. The rest of the squadron was dead. That had been a part of her contract.

Take no prisoners.

A party of men burst into the building, laughing loudly at some crude joke. Two men were of Asian descent, and dressed in business attire. The other fourteen were of many backgrounds, but all wore a crude uniform.

'They sure do take their security seriously around here,' Minerva thought, nestling back in a space between crates. She shimmied through the maze of nooks and cracks, cursing her birthing hips.

_"I, for one, enjoy them,"_

_"SHHH Loki! Story time,"_

Finally, the men noticed the large bloodstain and drag marks leading away.

"Well don't just sit there, find out where the hell they lead!" The fatter of the Asian men shouted.

Three guards broke away from the group and followed the trail, starting from the large pool. A silver throwing star embedded itself perfectly in his jugular, causing an elegant spray of blood to arc from the wound.

_"That's a rather poetic way to describe slitting a man's throat,"_

_"SSHHHHH,"_

_"Make me," Loki leaned closer to Minerva._

_"I just might have to," Minerva matched his posture, her nose almost meeting his,_

After the first man went down, chaos erupted. Bullets were fire in every direction as more and more weapons rained from the shadows, rarely missing their mark. Finally, it was down to just the two high rollers.

"Show yourself, cowards!" The smaller man yelled, pulling out a pistol and aiming at the stacks of crates.

"Well, cow-**ard **, actually," Minerva dropped from one of the rafters, landing on a soft stack of cocaine and sliding down.

"Hands up! Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"Well, _I _am Minerva Merritt," She put her hands in the air, "And Mr. Lawson says 'Hi'" She swiftly grabbed the handles of two ordinary butcher knives and flung them out, hitting the two men dead between the eyes.

* * *

"Anyhow, long story short, the big guy was wearing a wire and I had to lay low for a few months. That was when SHIELD found me," Minerva finished with a sip of champagne, draining the glass.

"Marvelous. You never cease to amaze me, my dear," Loki poured her another glass.

"Ciao Sir e Signora, cosa vorresti ordinare questa sera? Potrei suggerire speciale della coppia?" A busty young waitress asked a bit too cheerily.

"Does the special sound good to you, Dear?" As Loki said this, the waitress glared hotly at Minerva.

The pranksters locked eyes. The blonde waggled her brows slightly. The demigod showed a ghost of a smirk.

"Oh of course, my love," Minerva summoned up her breathiest, most lovey- dovey voice she could manage. "I want whatever you want!"

"You are simply the perfect woman, my lady," Loki responded in an equally starstruck way.

"But I am nowhere near as perfect as you, _my lord,"_

A devilish spark flashed through Loki's eyes at those words last words,

"The special it is then," There was now a dark undertone to his voice. Minerva noticed it, and it made her uncomfortable, in a good way.

"Grazie, E 'tutto?" The waitress asked, glaring even hotter at this skank who had hooked the most gorgeous man to walk on the planet.

"Sì, grazie," replied Loki, dismissing her. Once she was out of earshot, Minerva began to laugh. Loki laughed as well, though he was more preoccupied with the delicate curve of her neck.

"We need to do this more often," She giggled.

"I would love to, just say the word," Loki looked at her expectantly.

"Well, if you're asking me to be your girlfriend," Minerva leaned close to him. He shifted so that their lips met.

"The answer is yes," she replied as they parted.

Loki placed his cold hand over her small one on the table. He smiled. She smiled back.

* * *

"Ecco il vostro pasto, signore e signora, Spaghetti della coppia speciale. Buon appetito!" A man in a chef's attire sang as he approached the table. He stopped dead in his tracks, confused. The young couple that ordered the special was gone, and there was a folded note on the table. The chef twiddled the end of his bushy mustache before setting the platter down. He picked up the note and read.

_Sorry for leaving so early. This should cover the meal. Please don't waste the special. Give it to the elderly couple two tables over. Tell them: _

_"Happy anniversary from two young lovers."_

* * *

(Next Afternoon)

Loki sat on the plush couch, his arm wrapped around Minerva who gripped a cup of coffee long gone cold. Both stared at nothing. Minerva reached one hand up to twirl a piece of Loki's hair; it wasn't slicked back at the moment, and it was a bit messy, much like her own.

They sighed happily.

"Hey, I've been wondering were you guys were all day. Where've you been?" Tony asked, sidling up to the bar to grab a drink for himself and a coke for Bruce. The two on the couch turned to look over their shoulders at him, both wearing a vague smile and glossy eyes.

"Oh," Tony had a sudden moment of clarity. "Well, I'll just be leaving, don't let me stop anything, just don't do it on the couch," he hurried back through the hall.

"Race you to the bed,"

"You're on."


End file.
